Web Coach Tip: You TOO, Can Avoid This Deadly Mistake When Writing Your Own Web Copy

I recently completed a kick-butt piece of compelling sales copy for a business coach, who tried to ‘stay awake during the operation’ and change what I had written.

The section in question was the sub-head title:
“Attention: Success Minded Entrepreneurs and Small Business owners”

She changed it to:
Attention: Management or technical consultants, CPA’S, Attorney’s, Financial Planners, Nurse Entrepreneurs, Corporate Trainers, Veterinarians, Executive Coaches , Employment Specialist and other Independent Professionals and Small Business Service Professionals.

Aaargh!

What'a mouthful! I quickly wrote and explained that:

1. Adding in the other professionals makes it read like your doing a “roll call”. 2. Your prospect needs to feel like your talking only to him, not a broad list of people or the “shot-gun effect”.
3. It’s no longer scan-able... and hard for the eye to follow.
4. It clutters up the concept and makes it feel awkward.
5. Doesn’t do a thing for your keywords or ranking.
6. Makes you look like a “generalist” not a specialist. Like you’re too eager and want to help everybody. People want to enlist help from a specialist

Click for more about copywriting mistakes that you need to avoid...

Ronald
http://www.affiliateutopia.com/